The Venetian Mask

Since I have a little bit of free time this month (and maybe for a bit longer...but not too much longer) I'm trying to get back into reading. I have about 8 books on my bookshelf, either mine that I've bought over the last year or borrowed from friends, that I have yet to read. So I started again. And I'm so happy I have time to read again. After years of textbook reading and not having time to "pleasure read," I almost forgot how much I enjoyed diving into the world of a book. That's what it feels like to me; taking a peek into a world, fictional or not. My most favorite books are historical fiction, mostly about Italy. And of course, I can never get enough of the Harry Potter saga. Those books will forever remain be in a special place in my heart. Anyways, still onto the book. 

The Venetian Mask by Rosalind Laker is a story about two friends who grew up as orphans in the Ospedale della Pieta, the famous orphanage in Venice. It follows them from the age of 12 and onwards 30 years, through growing up and maestra success (they were both accomplished singers in the Pieta's choir, one of the best ever [from what I've heard]), to their new families feud that had lasted hundreds of years. It takes you to a world where deception and personal vendetta's were the complete norm and money and familial power were more powerful in some ways than the government. 

I love old Italy. I really do. Of course old Italy isn't really Italy because the country wasn't unified until in this last century. Venice was especially mysterious. The name of the book says it all. The Venetian masks are world famous and although most people associate them with Carnevale, the celebration of the time period before Lent begins in the early spring, the masks were used in everyday life in Venice. Either going about town with simple bauta masks (plain white masks normally, some with some embellishments) or going to parties and the opera in fancy, hand crafted and very expensive masks, Venetians were able to hide behind their masks. 

A traditional women's Venetian mask with veil to conceal the rest of her face. 

A simple bauta mask, without specific facial features, with black tie strings.

Traditional men's Venetian mask with specific facial features and hold handle. 

I wonder what it would have been like to really live in those times. Books tell us specific stories about fictional or true characters. Most of the books I read combine real events with fictional embellishments. Those are the ones I love the most. 

So here's to another book that I will read over and over. 

Everything Happens For A Reason

Everything happens for a reason, everything happens for a reason, everything happens for a reason..this is the mantra/saying/prayer that I have been repeating over and over in my head since December 23, 2011. The day when I found out that I was not getting hired by the agency I had been interning with since the end of September.  To be honest, I was really upset about it but a little part of me saw it coming. I can honestly say that I did the best I could with what I was given and unfortunately, it didn't turn into a full time job. But now, 11 days later, I am ok with it. I have looked back on it and realized that they were right; it was not a fit. I learned a lot, as I have in all of my internships and jobs and any other working opportunities that I have had.

So I am back on the job hunt, again. But this time it's different. I have a year of experience behind me. My resume looks good and my skills have been improved a lot. After not "being a fit" at three agencies this year though, I have decided to refocus my job search and look into corporate positions and event planning positions. I've always loved event planning and have wanted to do it since the beginning of my college career. Now is my chance.

This is also my chance to make a move, literally. I'm bittersweet about saying that I'm moving back down to Southern California. I will be living with my parents until I get back on my feet with a solid job and save enough money to afford to live down there, wherever that may be. I missed home and being home for the Christmas holiday re-affirmed my decision. I had been contemplating moving back since my second internship ended. I love all my friends that I have made up here and my roommate, who has been more than amazing to me in the last few months (I was a major stress-ball...just ask my personal trainer. Even she said I was too stressed). I will be back down in SoCal by the end of January, ready to start the next chapter of my life.

I've been here for 3 years. In those three years, I have come more into myself that I ever thought I could. I've learned about myself and about working with people and I will carry these learnings and lessons with me throughout the rest of my life.

Everything happens for a reason. There is a reason I didn't end up at Gonzaga - this was so I would find myself at San Jose State. There is a reason why each of my internships did not work out - I was still learning. There is a reason for this last one not to work out - this was so I would have the freedom of decision to move back to my hometown. I still don't know what will come out of my move back down the state of California, but I'm sure that it will show itself soon, hopefully sooner rather than later.

And now for some resolutions because, well, it's 2012!

1. Take more spontaneous risks - in the workplace and in life.
2. Get out more and meet more new people (as if I don't know enough people already).
3. Be more attentive to what others are saying - my dad says I need to work on this and I agree...just don't tell him that.
4. Get in shape and get healthy. I'm on that road already and I know living at home will only aid, not harm, this one.
5. Be happy.

Here's to 2012 and may all of you out there have the best year yet.

Thankful for Constant Learning

Nov. 7 - Thankful for Constant Learning

In the last 11 months since graduating from college, I have learned that the learning is far from over. I may have earned my degree through classes with professors but I'm earning a life degree through real life experiences from my peers and superiors. There is still so much more to a profession than the degree that helped you get the job. The best thing is that I've found an agency that encourages that learning agency-wide. Today, I sat through an hour long lecture on pitching the media, put on by one of the agency's VPs. He went through a presentation and told us what he knew and his experiences, to a room full of the younger part of the staff. That is what is so great about this place. It's the perfect mix of veterans and rookies. And some in-betweeners.

It hasn't all just been learning on the job this year for me. Everyone says you find yourself in college, but I've found more about myself in the year since. And I know I'm just going to realize more and grow more as a person in the next few years. This is the start of my adulthood and the learning is just going to continue. And that makes me hopeful for the future.

Thankful for my Faith

November 6 - Thankful for my Faith

I am what you call "cradle Catholic," meaning that I was baptized barely 2 months after being born. I'm Italian and was born in New York, so of course I come from a big, happy, loud, eccentric family. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't really remember going to church very much when I was really young, but after my family moved to California, we joined a church that had started up the year I was born. It was full of young families (and some old) and that community became MY community. I grew up with the children of those families and count many of them as my "extended family" today. My faith is not so much being Catholic as it is being associated with that parish community. I call myself a "pick and choose" Catholic...I believe in most of the fundamentals of it, but some of it I just can't. And I'm ok with that.

I don't live at home anymore and can count the number of times I've been to mass up here on one hand. I always go to church when I'm visiting home and enjoy the mass, but going by myself up here has literally brought me to tears because it makes me so homesick. I don't need to be IN church to talk to God. More often than not, I find myself talking to him (and my grandfather, who passed when I was 7) while I'm driving. Just to make sure they're watching when I'm driving ;).  In fact, it's almost easier sometimes to talk to my Popi than it is to God. I miss him a lot and his death had me struggling with my faith for a long time. I still question God sometimes today.

My grandfather died of cancer and I know many people who have either died of cancer or survived it. I have a hard time believing that God would take away so many good and wonderful people with this disease. And Popi was so young, only 63. I talk to him almost every single day about anything that is going on. I can only hope that I would make him proud if he were still here today.

I struggled with my faith for a short time. I wasn't sure if it was because I was adjusting to life on my own or that I wasn't sure what to believe. That's when I realized my "pick and choose" faith. I believe in Him and know he's watching me and would never give me something that he didn't think he could handle. He has a plan for me and it's my job in life to trust in Him. He gave me my family and friends so I have a happy life.

Being Thankful in the Month of November

I've been seeing people post one thing that they're thankful for each day on Facebook and while I like that idea, I'd rather do it on here. And since I've missed a few days, I have some catching up to do. So here goes for the first 5 days of November.

Nov. 1 - Thankful for my family

Without my family, namely my parents, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, I would not be the person I am today. They have been my support system all along and I'm recognizing pieces of my parents' personality in myself as I grow up more. Which is an amazing thing. My parents are wonderful, loving, hard working people who were smart enough to raise their daughters in the same style they were raised; love with lessons. I love my entire family and am so thankful that I was born into it. I wish I could see my far flung extended family more often, but such is life that we're far away. 

Nov. 2 - Thankful for my friends 

If you're a friend of mine, you'll know that the words "I love you" come out of my mouth pretty easily, mostly in your direction. And that's because I mean it. Either I've known you a long time and you have become such a close friend that I consider you family or I've known you a short time and our friendship is growing. When my family moved out to California, we didn't have a lot of family around and we found a close knit group of friends that became our family. I've mentioned them before and they continue to be a part of "my family" that I miss so much at home. They've welcomed my family into their lives and influenced my life in ways that some of them may not even realize. So to all my "family", I love you so much and miss you all so much. Whether you're in Italy, England, California, Arizona or New Jersey, I love you :). 

Nov. 3 - Thankful for my job(s)

I am fortunate enough to have found an amazing internship at an agency that is known for being a great place to work. I am finding my purpose in life and contributing to a company that I believe in. I am also very fortunate enough to have worked as a waitress at a restaurant steadily for the last 4 years. Yes, I know I complain about it more often than not, but I really am grateful that I have it. There are plenty of people out there today, especially today, who can't even find one job and I have the fortune of having two. 

Nov. 4 - My health 

Even though I probably could have kept much better care of myself over the last few years, I am healthy and happy. I recently made steps to take better care of myself and am feeling better than before. I am fortunate enough to live a life where I can afford to join a gym and take those steps of taking better care of myself. Also, my mental health is good. I am happy and in a good state of mind (even though my friends tell me I worry more than I need to). 

Nov. 5 - My car

Yes, mom and dad, I'm VERY thankful for my car. I came to drive my car at a stressful part of this year and the circumstances of me coming to own this particular car were a major part of my stress. But I am thankful for it and the skills that it takes to drive it. I always knew I would eventually learn how to drive a manual, I just didn't think it would be this type of car. And now that I drive to work, I am doubly thankful for it. Long gone are the days of taking the train, and trust me, that's a big part of me being happy every day going to work. 

So that does it for today. Since it's technically Saturday (nearly 1 am) I'll come back on Sunday with another one. Love you all and miss you all. G'gnight. 

A Catch Up of Sorts

Well, well, well. I haven't written in here in over 3 months. And what a 3 months it has been. When I wrote my last post, I was working at an agency in San Francisco, my second internship of the year. I was struggling a little bit with myself and trying to figure out where I would be by the end of the year. That internship didn't work out and in the end, it definitely was for the best. I had a month in between that internship and the internship I am now in and that month off from working an internship and just waitressing might have been the best thing for me. It really gave me a chance to reflect on the year and to absorb all the lessons I had learned or still needed to realize I had learned.

At the end of the month, I was hired on at my current agency and I absolutely love it. I hope to God that this is the place that I'll be for the foreseeable future because everything about it clicks. I like the work (which is high-tech, which I NEVER thought I would like and said so. I will gladly eat those words for years to come), I like my coworkers (they are pretty freaking rad) and I am happy going into work every day. Because in the end, if you're not happy going into work every day, then you're really not putting your best self forward and doing the quality of work you could do if you were happy. My supervisor said it best today in our weekly catch up, "I know this is work, but it still has to be enjoyable."

I'm still in the same house I've been in for the last 2 years with the same roommate. I love where I live, who I live with and am very thankful for my life right now. I know I miss home and the people at home a ton, but I can always go down for a quick weekend.

Unfortunately, since I'm driving all the time now, I have about zero time to read new books, so the brief purpose of writing book reviews is now kaput. Hopefully, I'll find a few minutes to read a book for fun here and there. Also, I joined a gym so I'm getting home later and later. I'm realizing that when you work a lot, you have to make sure you make time for yourself.

I also want to start writing in here a lot more. I miss writing for myself. It helps you unload what's on your mind, which is why I named this "Extension Of My Brain." So, here's to resolutions a few months early :).

An Ode To A Boy Named Harry With Glasses.

This is about two weeks overdue but I’ve been a tad bit busy. The last Harry Potter film has come and gone and I’ve seen it and I feel…strange. But let me explain how much Harry has been in my life.

The first HP book came out in 1998 but I was not made aware of it until the following year. I remember the first time I heard about this boy wizard in 6^th grade. It was in English class and we still had required reading back then. One of my classmates, I think Steven Jacobs (excuse my freakish memory and blame my father for it), was reading it. Each week we had to give a short summary to our teacher, Mrs. Jordan, about what was going on in our books. When Steven described the scene, which I later realized was the letter receiving, it sounded so strange that I dismissed it immediately. I was at the end stage of reading American Girl books and was discovering my fascination with historical fiction books (which is stronger than ever today). The thought of a boy being surrounded by flying letters and delivery owls was so off to me. And since everyone started reading the books, I refused. I didn’t want to read what everyone else was reading. Well, of course, that didn’t last long. At Christmas that year, I received two copies of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone; one from my aunt and one from a neighbor, both who knew my love of reading. So I figured, eh why not, I’ll give this a shot.

I was hooked. Not as hooked as everyone else, partly because my mom was not one of those moms who would go out to the release of a book and get it right away. But she did read the books just as much as I did (even though I always read them first because I read faster and then would beg her to hurry up so we could talk about it. I still do that, just with the movies now). In fact, the only book I went to the midnight release of was the final one, with a friend, my second year of college. Yeah, that’s how long those books were in my life. But nonetheless, shortly after they came out, my mom would get the new book and I would read it, then she would read it. I think when the first movies came out was when I really started to get into it. It was crazy and *magical* to see the images I had pictured in my mind shown on screen, almost exactly the way I had thought of them. The makers of the films really did do a good job. The early films are full of innocence and light and colors while the later ones are dark and mature, just how the books are.

I grew up with Harry, just like the rest of my classmates. I was 11 when the first books came out. Obviously I aged a bit faster but still. The thought of someone at 17 doing the things he did (yes I know it’s just a book) was unfathomable to me, in my world. I wish the wizarding world really did exist. He taught us lessons about friendship, loyalty, bravery and doing the right thing no matter what it took. Those are as good of lessons as any we will ever learn.

Now on to the final movie, which I saw with my two older cousins. That's something I love about my family; all of us cousins rarely interact, but I can guarantee most of us are Harry Potter fans and I'm so happy I got to experience the last of it with Alexis and Rhiannon. We were all pretty emotional, in our amazing smack-dab-in-the-middle-of-the-theater seats. I shifted so much (I get antsy sitting still for too long) and at one point had my arms hooked around my legs with my chin to my knees. It was an intense movie. Absolutely non-stop from beginning to amazing end. Yes, they changed things from the book a bit, but did it still make sense? Yes. Also, people have said they didn't like the epilogue at the end, fast-forwarded 19 years. I've heard "cheesy" and "corny" used. Well then, you must not have read the books. Because it was perfect in the book. And nearly perfect in the film. We didn't see a bit of it that was in the book but that's ok. We were pressed for time. 

My next wish is that the entire book series is adapted into an animated series, like a mini series that we've been seeing.  That way, every detail can be included and all the crazy magic that didn't quite look right with live actors will be made. I think that would be brilliant. 

A chapter of my childhood has closed but is not over; it will never be over. Thank you J.K. Rowling for creating a whole world and bringing such *magic* into our lives.