This is the first summer in a long, long time that I have not had a job. I mean I know I am doing an internship here but it's not as stressful as past summers have been and I am not working a second "job" for income. It's been nice. And for a few weeks I let myself enjoy the freedom of it. But now...well the worry is starting to close in again. I'm starting to get into school mode again (I know I know I have 5 more weeks left why am I letting myself get like this already). I just wish that everything was easier to foresee. I wish I knew that I was going to be able to go back home and find a good paying job and that everything would be ok. It's nerve-wracking. I realized earlier this week that I had to also think about buying books for my classes. Luckily they're not that expensive (thank goodness) and I have one already. And I hope I can get enough hours right when I get back. It's not that I'm looking forward to working again...I just need to. I need to feel like I'm doing something again. I have learned that about myself this summer. As carefree as I act, I really need to always be busy with something. Need to be working on something or my mind gets idle and I start to get bored and impatient. I like doing what I do and I wish I had more to do of it. That is why I'm looking forward to this fall so much. I worked it out so I have 5 classes on two days a week and 3 days a week where I can work work work. Hopefully I can find a place that will allow me to do that. I might even get 2 jobs just so I can be busy. I've done it before. Also I think I'm going to need it. I'm going to miss this place so much that I just need to keep busy and not think about it. Oh my mind is all over the place right now. I'm also slightly sick. Woke up with a nasty runny nose and my cough just won't go away. And this heat. Oooh the heat is not helping. And that sounded a little like complaining. I'm not. Just stating my feelings.
I need a plan. I need to know what I'm doing this fall now. Which is why I've been looking up companies all week and trying to email companies about possible fall internships. No dice so far. It's also the time difference. They probably get thousands of emails a day so when I email them at 3 am their time...well it's down the pile and probably won't be found for days. I am nervous. I don't like being nervous. I'm usually a very confident person who knows exactly where she's going within the next few months. Now I don't. I do have a faint idea but nothing set in stone and that is starting to creep into my brain and bug me. I was chatting with a friend about my summer and he commented that by the time I get to NY I'm just going to want to get to school and get to work. He knows me too well. That is probably true but I will try my hardest not to think about it. That week is with Samantha. And it will be filled with catching up with her while lounging in her pool, going to the beach and going ocean kayaking (now THAT makes me excited). Until then I will try not to let my mind wander into nervousness. I will do what I need to do and then I will let it rest. Yes, that's what I'll do. Ok thanks for reading along with my rambling mind...like I said it's all over the place right now.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Life Here is Temporary
It is now the Wednesday of my 7th week in Florence. Seven weeks. How did it get to be that long of a time? And how did the time go so fast? I feel like I've only been here a short time yet been here forever. Two weeks from Saturday I will be getting on a train and heading down south to visit my family. And when I leave, nothing will be the same. Even if I were to come back, the people I've met here (well most of them) will be gone and it will be a different time. I know I've posted in that strand of thought before, about how nothing is ever the same the second time you visit it, but here it is especially true. This city is such a youthful city that a good chunk of its residents rotate in and out around every 4 months. In the summer it's an even faster rotation. Most summer programs are only 6 weeks. I was fortunate enough to have a 9 week program and stay a bit longer. It's a fun and fast time but for those who actually live here, it's bittersweet. Sure they meet a ton of people every few months and gain friendships that allow them to visit but really, when are we all going to get the time to travel the world and visit each other. One would hope that would happen but the reality is that only a handful will. A friend of mine moved here from England with his family 6 years ago and he remarked that this life is just normal to him...making new friends every 4 months or so and then watching them go again. Some do stay longer, sometimes a year, but for everyone that just makes leaving that much harder.
The friendships that I have made here hopefully will be long lasting. I know of a few that definitely will be. You become like family. You have to because in reality you don't have anyone else to turn to when you need that family feeling comfort. You eat together, you go out together, you talk constantly, you share your daily problems with each other and you take care of each other. It becomes normal to see each other on a daily basis and before you know it you've forgotten what life was like before you met all your new friends. I was chatting with a friend from home yesterday and it struck me that I can't remember how it is to be back home. I feel like I've been here so long. And to be quite honest, I'm a little nervous about going home. I feel like I'm going to wake up in my bed in San Jose one morning and ask myself if this summer really happened or if it was a long fantastic and very real feeling dream. Of course, I know it's real and I know it's happening. This post wouldn't exist otherwise. Going home is going to be so, so bittersweet. I love the people I've met here, but at the same time, I know that this lifestyle is not one to live long term. I don't know how they do it here. I'm getting burnt out already (and yes Mom I did just admit to that...which is why I've been taking naps the last 4 days...that and it's too hot to do anything else). Of course, if I were to actually live here and make a living here, things would be different. Much different. And the next time I come back, I will be older (maybe wiser) and have different interests. I wish that I had saved a little more money to come here so I would be able to travel a little more and really see it, but I know that this is far from the last time I will be visiting Italy. I love this country. It's just so gorgeous.
So as I said, life here is temporary. The people you meet are here on a once in a lifetime meet and greet. You could meet someone by chance one night only to hear that it's their last/only night here. It's a travelers city, a stop on people's journeys. Which is fantastic. I've met people from all over the States and all over the world. We met a group of people who were traveling from South Africa who said that if we were ever in town to let them know. And with the wonderfulness of Facebook, I could very well do that. And friends from Scotland and England and everywhere else. I have a roommate from Israel that I would have never met otherwise because let's face it, Israel is not on my top 10 list of countries to visit. It's there but only as an if something comes up and it's possible.
To the people I've met and become friends with, thank you. I love you. The next two and a half weeks are going to be fantastic. To the people I'm going to meet in the next two and a half weeks, thank you as well...you're in for a fun time =).
The friendships that I have made here hopefully will be long lasting. I know of a few that definitely will be. You become like family. You have to because in reality you don't have anyone else to turn to when you need that family feeling comfort. You eat together, you go out together, you talk constantly, you share your daily problems with each other and you take care of each other. It becomes normal to see each other on a daily basis and before you know it you've forgotten what life was like before you met all your new friends. I was chatting with a friend from home yesterday and it struck me that I can't remember how it is to be back home. I feel like I've been here so long. And to be quite honest, I'm a little nervous about going home. I feel like I'm going to wake up in my bed in San Jose one morning and ask myself if this summer really happened or if it was a long fantastic and very real feeling dream. Of course, I know it's real and I know it's happening. This post wouldn't exist otherwise. Going home is going to be so, so bittersweet. I love the people I've met here, but at the same time, I know that this lifestyle is not one to live long term. I don't know how they do it here. I'm getting burnt out already (and yes Mom I did just admit to that...which is why I've been taking naps the last 4 days...that and it's too hot to do anything else). Of course, if I were to actually live here and make a living here, things would be different. Much different. And the next time I come back, I will be older (maybe wiser) and have different interests. I wish that I had saved a little more money to come here so I would be able to travel a little more and really see it, but I know that this is far from the last time I will be visiting Italy. I love this country. It's just so gorgeous.
So as I said, life here is temporary. The people you meet are here on a once in a lifetime meet and greet. You could meet someone by chance one night only to hear that it's their last/only night here. It's a travelers city, a stop on people's journeys. Which is fantastic. I've met people from all over the States and all over the world. We met a group of people who were traveling from South Africa who said that if we were ever in town to let them know. And with the wonderfulness of Facebook, I could very well do that. And friends from Scotland and England and everywhere else. I have a roommate from Israel that I would have never met otherwise because let's face it, Israel is not on my top 10 list of countries to visit. It's there but only as an if something comes up and it's possible.
To the people I've met and become friends with, thank you. I love you. The next two and a half weeks are going to be fantastic. To the people I'm going to meet in the next two and a half weeks, thank you as well...you're in for a fun time =).
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Project MODA Fashion Show
So any of you who are friends with me on Facebook have noticed that I do an awful lot of "tagging" in my status updates. It's a cool thing about Facebook and very convenient when I'm trying to get the word out about something, like the Project Moda Fashion Show that the Global Experience interns put on last weekend. It was an experimental show, one that was made to look like Project Runway show, but secretly wasn't. Of course, like I said, this was the first time and well Rome wasn't built in a day. For it being the first time and for being a little bit in disaray for a day or two there, it went fantastically. We had 6 different designers and one vintage accessory designer donate their pieces for the show and 4 of our girls along with a professional modeled the pieces. They were fierce. The stage wasn't very big but we designed a sort of cross the stage/crossing in front of each other walk that turned out looking so so cool. And our hosts were wonderful. Cassandra was our host no matter what and a few days prior, she got her friend Mario to co-host. He was awesome. He's Napoletan so he took over the Italian speaking portion. Plus he's smooth looking. Gotta love that good ol' italian good looking man. I was running around a bit and at one point even helped dress one of the girls just to turn around and run back downstairs to let the DJ know we were good to go. I swear I climbed those stairs at least 20-30 times in like 4 hours. Oof. The show went off without a hitch and one of our teams "won" and then we all enjoyed an Aperitivo and headed out for some fun. I really had a fun night. We needed it. And I looked fantastic (not to toot my own horn or anything). Somehow there was a few spare minutes in there for the hairdresser to put my hair into this crazy up do that I would have NEVER thought of and then Chantall made my eyes look amazing. She's crazy talented...and she loves doing makeup.
So I know that's not a very satisfactory description of the show but there was so much going on and leading up to it that in order to fully explain....well it would take a loooot of writing and probably a day or two of reading. We had fun and I hope that GE continues this experience next year!
So I know that's not a very satisfactory description of the show but there was so much going on and leading up to it that in order to fully explain....well it would take a loooot of writing and probably a day or two of reading. We had fun and I hope that GE continues this experience next year!
Monday, July 12, 2010
E Molto Caldo in Firenze
One thing to know about traveling in Europe in the summer...it gets HOT. And I'm not talking about the California/Arizona/Utah/all of West Coast dry heat. Not even the East Coast humidity. Take East Coast humidity and dump a steaming bucket of water consistently on it. That's what it feels like. Like you are constantly being misted with warm water that is in no way refreshing. Oi vey. And it never stops. Even when the sun goes down, that constant slick feeling of your skin is there. You fall asleep to it and you wake up in it. Unless you're fortunate enough to have a fan or even AC out here, which is a biiig rarity. Electricity is precious and the buildings are pretty old. Having AC is a big time luxury. However, it's all part of the experience right? It takes some getting used to and the locals who live here treat this weather as if it's a regular 70 and sunny. I see people in pants around here all the time. I want to know their secret to not sweating profusely...maybe I can learn someday haha.
Actually it reminds me of a picture from one of the first times we visited my family down in Southern Italy. It was August (the worst and hottest time ever) and my dad snapped a picture of me and my sister still sleeping. The covers are down, our hair is up in messy ponytails and I believe we're both just in our underwear because it's so hot. And we're in that baby sleeping position with our arms above our heads and our legs kind of spread eagle. I know that sounds so strange but honestly it is pretty much the only comfortable position to sleep in when it's this hot. No covers, no pillows and minimal pjs. Of course we were young then. That sort of picture today can't be talked about haha. But honestly, I don't remember what it's like to feel cold. I know the feeling of a breeze on my face, but it's no where being cold. The AC is barely a relief. It just gets you back to a normal feeling. I know I'll look back on this in oh say November when I'm back in San Jose, freezing cold in my bed and curling up under the covers and wishing I could get warm. Grass is always greener on the other side eh? Ok that's my little rant about the heat. And even though I rant, I do love it here. Just wish it was about 20 degrees (F) cooler. =)
Actually it reminds me of a picture from one of the first times we visited my family down in Southern Italy. It was August (the worst and hottest time ever) and my dad snapped a picture of me and my sister still sleeping. The covers are down, our hair is up in messy ponytails and I believe we're both just in our underwear because it's so hot. And we're in that baby sleeping position with our arms above our heads and our legs kind of spread eagle. I know that sounds so strange but honestly it is pretty much the only comfortable position to sleep in when it's this hot. No covers, no pillows and minimal pjs. Of course we were young then. That sort of picture today can't be talked about haha. But honestly, I don't remember what it's like to feel cold. I know the feeling of a breeze on my face, but it's no where being cold. The AC is barely a relief. It just gets you back to a normal feeling. I know I'll look back on this in oh say November when I'm back in San Jose, freezing cold in my bed and curling up under the covers and wishing I could get warm. Grass is always greener on the other side eh? Ok that's my little rant about the heat. And even though I rant, I do love it here. Just wish it was about 20 degrees (F) cooler. =)
Sunday, July 4, 2010
A Slice of Normalcy
Last night I got to spend time with the Redmonds, a family from home that my family has known for years. Kelsey is two years younger than me but we all grew up together and it was just so, so nice to see them and spend time with them. Even more so when Jack met me for mass at the Duomo. That was when I felt just SO content. I could close my eyes and just pretend that I was transported back home to Padre Serra sitting in church next to Jack and maybe my mom and my other side. I even had to pull him away from the priest, just like we do at home. All of my parents friends can talk for ages. It was always the same when we were kids. "get out of the pool we're leaving in 10 minutes!!" An hour later and dressed, all the kids are sitting there while the parents are still happily chatting away, maybe with a purse in their arms or something. Never changes. Of course I do that too now. "We're leaving...oh wait let me say bye!"
So I met up with Jack at the Duomo while Sharon and Kelsey took a nap (shopping in this heat will run you down). After mass, we went out and met them outside the Doors of Paradise (I love that I can call that spot my "meeting spot"...so surreal) and Kelsey and I nearly knocked each over. I haven't seen her in so long. In fact we were talking about how much, or little, I've been home since I moved up north and I think I've been home a total of 6 or so weeks since last January. SO strange. And then Kelsey started at U of A this past year so none of are home now. The parents are all home with empty nests. Anyways, we had a drink outside one of the restaurants near the Duomo, one that I always walk past but don't even think about stopping at because well it's damn expensive. Then we strolled around for a while and did some window shopping before going to dinner at this adorable little restaurant where I tasted the most amazing ravioli ever. It has cheese and pear in the middle. OMG. Unfortunately that wasn't what I had ordered so now I have to somehow go back. Before I leave. I have to haha. And it was just so nice to sit and talk with someone that has known me and I could feel like I was with family again. I miss my family so much, and when I say family, I don't just mean blood relatives. My friends at home are my family. Like I've said before, I have about 20 sets of parents. Sharon and Jack are one of them. We had such a good talk about what I've been doing, what they've been doing and so forth.
After dinner, I asked if I could have Kelsey come and hang out with some friends of mine. They've been on a two week tour of Italy and well I figured the girl could use some fun night time fun haha. We met up with my usual group and just went to one of the bars we frequent. It seemed like a low key time so Ali and I took her to Red Garter for a little taste of some of the dancing that goes on here. We called it a night early though because they had an early wake up time. But seriously it was just so much fun. It was so cool to be able to somehow connect my two worlds. Because this is seriously a whole different world for me. I have my world in Camarillo, I have my world in San Jose and now I have my world in Florence. I doubt the three will ever really be combined but that would be so cool someday. Maybe at my wedding haha. Which is eons away by the way.
Seeing someone from home made me appreciate what I have back home. I know I want to travel the world and see as much as I possibly home and I can find comfort in the fact that no matter where I am, I can always go home. I will always have someone to talk to there and "family" to visit. My parents talk about moving somewhere different, but secretly I hope that they never leave there. I know they will (they want to live in Italy for a few years, which is perfectly fine...as long as they go straight back to Camarillo). I love where I grew up and I love the people I grew up with. I know someday we will all be far flung from each other but we'll never truly be away from each other. It's how family works.
So I met up with Jack at the Duomo while Sharon and Kelsey took a nap (shopping in this heat will run you down). After mass, we went out and met them outside the Doors of Paradise (I love that I can call that spot my "meeting spot"...so surreal) and Kelsey and I nearly knocked each over. I haven't seen her in so long. In fact we were talking about how much, or little, I've been home since I moved up north and I think I've been home a total of 6 or so weeks since last January. SO strange. And then Kelsey started at U of A this past year so none of are home now. The parents are all home with empty nests. Anyways, we had a drink outside one of the restaurants near the Duomo, one that I always walk past but don't even think about stopping at because well it's damn expensive. Then we strolled around for a while and did some window shopping before going to dinner at this adorable little restaurant where I tasted the most amazing ravioli ever. It has cheese and pear in the middle. OMG. Unfortunately that wasn't what I had ordered so now I have to somehow go back. Before I leave. I have to haha. And it was just so nice to sit and talk with someone that has known me and I could feel like I was with family again. I miss my family so much, and when I say family, I don't just mean blood relatives. My friends at home are my family. Like I've said before, I have about 20 sets of parents. Sharon and Jack are one of them. We had such a good talk about what I've been doing, what they've been doing and so forth.
After dinner, I asked if I could have Kelsey come and hang out with some friends of mine. They've been on a two week tour of Italy and well I figured the girl could use some fun night time fun haha. We met up with my usual group and just went to one of the bars we frequent. It seemed like a low key time so Ali and I took her to Red Garter for a little taste of some of the dancing that goes on here. We called it a night early though because they had an early wake up time. But seriously it was just so much fun. It was so cool to be able to somehow connect my two worlds. Because this is seriously a whole different world for me. I have my world in Camarillo, I have my world in San Jose and now I have my world in Florence. I doubt the three will ever really be combined but that would be so cool someday. Maybe at my wedding haha. Which is eons away by the way.
Seeing someone from home made me appreciate what I have back home. I know I want to travel the world and see as much as I possibly home and I can find comfort in the fact that no matter where I am, I can always go home. I will always have someone to talk to there and "family" to visit. My parents talk about moving somewhere different, but secretly I hope that they never leave there. I know they will (they want to live in Italy for a few years, which is perfectly fine...as long as they go straight back to Camarillo). I love where I grew up and I love the people I grew up with. I know someday we will all be far flung from each other but we'll never truly be away from each other. It's how family works.
Friday, July 2, 2010
What a Difference a Year Makes
Being here in Italy has had me reflecting a lot on what my life was like a year ago, specifically my crazy but wonderfully fun internship last summer. It's all so different. I got up every morning and went to an office and worked all day, albeit had fun laughing with my fellow interns but hey we worked hard. The entire summer. Well actually March through August. 6 months long. Driving a car a half hour every day. Wow that's different from now. I haven't driven a car since ohhhh May 28th and well I was in one the other day and it was just so strange to me. I don't know how I'm going to feel about having to drive everywhere. I mean I could walk but San Jose can not hold a walking around candle to Florence. It's just not going to happen. And last summer, I was working towards a specific event. It had a huge purpose and all of us were working towards the same goal. I feel like this is my "float" summer, where, yes I am doing an internship and experiencing a new life, but it doesn't hold the same level of stress as last summer did.
There was so much more riding on my success in what I did last summer and so much depending on the team I was working with. I kind of miss that crazed "we have to get this done right and get it done NOW" frenzy. Even the 2 weeks of the Senior Games where I was driving to Stanford at 8 am every day and staying til 9 pm because I just wanted to do so much and just didn't want to leave. The days where I left early were so strange to me. I wanted to soak it all in and experience as much as I could of being in that event. This summer, all of my fellow interns from last year are all doing so many different things. Some of us have graduated by now and are working in real jobs, some are doing other internships and yet others are just traveling and having fun, like me. I feel like I've grown immensely in the past year and by the end of this summer, I will yet again have changed or rather tweaked some things. That is what life is...constantly growing and changing. It's a good thing.
Ook got that off my chest =). I suppose I should get back to work, huh?
There was so much more riding on my success in what I did last summer and so much depending on the team I was working with. I kind of miss that crazed "we have to get this done right and get it done NOW" frenzy. Even the 2 weeks of the Senior Games where I was driving to Stanford at 8 am every day and staying til 9 pm because I just wanted to do so much and just didn't want to leave. The days where I left early were so strange to me. I wanted to soak it all in and experience as much as I could of being in that event. This summer, all of my fellow interns from last year are all doing so many different things. Some of us have graduated by now and are working in real jobs, some are doing other internships and yet others are just traveling and having fun, like me. I feel like I've grown immensely in the past year and by the end of this summer, I will yet again have changed or rather tweaked some things. That is what life is...constantly growing and changing. It's a good thing.
Ook got that off my chest =). I suppose I should get back to work, huh?
Homesickness
So I have been here in Florence for over a month now and well to be quite honest I am getting a little homesick. Twice now I've skyped with my mom and made her stay on with me for over an hour just because I miss her and want to hear her voice and see her face. It's different than being at home because in San Jose, I can just call her (which I do...sometimes too much) and hear her voice. They say that hearing someone's voice, such as a parents, is equivalent to getting a hug. And I'm a girl who likes hugs. Just ask anyone =). It's not so much that I miss home (well I do) but more so that I miss seeing familiar faces. I could be anywhere in the world and as long as I had a familiar face with me, I would be fine. Most of the time I am a very independent person. But right now, I just want a good long hug from someone I know and love and just to spend time and talk. Everyone around here is from such different walks of life, and I love it. But sometimes I feel like I just want to jump over to San Jose or Camarillo for a quick minute, see who I want to see, then come right back. They are working on instant transportation, right? (my best friend and I have been dreaming about that for years...imagine how much easier life would be with instant, snap-of-the-fingers transportation would be).
I think the thing that is getting to me the most is the fact that I feel like I've already been here for so long and I know I have sooo much longer to be here, even if my last two weeks will be spent with family. I am so excited for that. Mainly the food haha. My family makes extremely good food. And a good time is always had with them. It will be strange to be there without my parents and my sister but we all have to do that someday right? It's only July 2 and I don't return to CA til August 20. That is a verrrry long time from now. And once again I'm missing birthdays and such. At least last year, I was still in the same state and time zone. Oh well, such is life and I am truly enjoying living here. It's a crazy lifestyle, one that I'm still getting used to but in due time, right? I am making friends here that I hope will be lifelong friends. Of course, none of us have a crystal ball and no one can say where we will all be in a year's time. Who knows.
Ok this rant is over. But I have another one up my sleeve (which you already know if you read this from top to bottom like any other normal person reads a blog)
I think the thing that is getting to me the most is the fact that I feel like I've already been here for so long and I know I have sooo much longer to be here, even if my last two weeks will be spent with family. I am so excited for that. Mainly the food haha. My family makes extremely good food. And a good time is always had with them. It will be strange to be there without my parents and my sister but we all have to do that someday right? It's only July 2 and I don't return to CA til August 20. That is a verrrry long time from now. And once again I'm missing birthdays and such. At least last year, I was still in the same state and time zone. Oh well, such is life and I am truly enjoying living here. It's a crazy lifestyle, one that I'm still getting used to but in due time, right? I am making friends here that I hope will be lifelong friends. Of course, none of us have a crystal ball and no one can say where we will all be in a year's time. Who knows.
Ok this rant is over. But I have another one up my sleeve (which you already know if you read this from top to bottom like any other normal person reads a blog)
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