My mom's favorite uncle, her godfather, passed away on Sunday night, December 16. He had been in ill health for a long time and it was expected. I guess we just didn't expect it to happen so close to the holiday. Another of my mom's uncles, from the other side of the family, passed away 2 years ago this Christmas.
I really didn't know him, but my mom and dad both loved him. He was your quintessential New Yorker, the kind of guy who put any wanna be Soprano to shame. With his accent of course, not his life practices. He was my grandma's older brother and my grandpa's best friend. Yep, my grandpa married his best friend's kid sister.
The sobering thought of all of this is that the elderly family members of mine are passing on. My grandma is the only one left out of her siblings. My grandpa only has his sister. Both of my dad's parents are gone and the majority of their siblings have passed on as well. I am not ready for this. I am not ready for my grandparents to be gone from this earth. I haven't spent enough time with them.
But even as I say that, I think back to the kids (yes, I know, different post). Their lives ended at 6 and 7 years of age and Uncle Mikey's ended at nearly 90. The fact that he left this world shortly after they did makes he hope that he is one of the countless adults up here in heaven who will guide them in guiding us.
Oh my head and my emotions are all over the map.
RIP Uncle Mikey. You were one hell of a guy and you will be sorely missed.
(and just like that, I lied about not writing tonight)
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Friday, December 14
The first bit of news that I read from this tragedy was that a single teacher had been injured. Of course, we all know this is not the case. We know that this story came out to the public in bits and pieces, some of which were retracted and spit out semi-correctly again. I watched it unfold on my phone at work. Everyone was talking about it. I did not handle it well. I knew I was walking around with a cloud above my head. A coworker even commented that I "looked sad all day." I was sad. And scared. And confused and angry.
20 innocent little lives were taken from this world that day. 6 courageous adult lives were also taken, some of which were about to begin new life journeys. We don't know why it happened and we probably never will. The cowardly bastard took his life as first responders entered the school. The scary thought is that he could have wreaked so much more damage. My heart aches for the families and friends of the victims. Especially their classmates. They will forever be known as the kids who survived the massacre. Same as those at Columbine.
I try not to be political, mainly because I don't pay enough attention to it to make an educated argument one way or the other. There are a few things that I have a strong opinion on. Guns and gun control are not those things. I have no idea where I stand on either one of those. I know that when I see a police officer with a gun holstered to his hip, I feel safer but at the same time fearful that he or she should ever have to use it. When I see photos of soldiers at war with guns up and firing, I wish like hell I could pull them out of there and back to a world that doesn't need guns. I have friends who are gun aficionados and go to the range and shoot for fun. My sister has even gone and came home proudly with her torn-to-bits target. Anyways, I am scared at the direction that we are going in. The stats being released on how many gun-related deaths there are in our country related to the rest of the world are scary as shit.
What scares me the most is that this can happen anywhere. The Aurora tragedy happened at a movie theater, not far from where one of my oldest and dearest friends lives. That same friend is now a high school math teacher and her mother an AD at a local high school here. My mind flew to her on Friday. Also, my mother is an elementary school teacher and the thought of her school being under attack scares me so much and makes me so angry that I write this with shaking hands and teary eyes. When I finally saw her that night after work, I gave her a long and tight hug and swore that if something like this ever happened to her, I would hunt the coward down and kill him myself. I know I wouldn't; that's what the justice system is for. My mind flew to my sister, a student at a community college; to my friend at law school across the country; to my high school; to my college. My mind flew to my cousin's daughter, who is only 10 months old and still in the safety of mommy's arms most of the time. I can't imagine being one of those parents and rushing to see if my child survived. I can't imagine what was going through my cousin's mind that day or any of the young mothers I know who have yet to send their kids off to school. Or even the moms and dads who have young kids in school. I try to remain optimistic about life at all times, but sometimes the walls close in and you just go "why is this happening??!!"
It's going to take a long time for everyone to heal from this. But those little angels will be watching over us. Especially their families. We can't forget them.
RIP Sandy Hook
20 innocent little lives were taken from this world that day. 6 courageous adult lives were also taken, some of which were about to begin new life journeys. We don't know why it happened and we probably never will. The cowardly bastard took his life as first responders entered the school. The scary thought is that he could have wreaked so much more damage. My heart aches for the families and friends of the victims. Especially their classmates. They will forever be known as the kids who survived the massacre. Same as those at Columbine.
I try not to be political, mainly because I don't pay enough attention to it to make an educated argument one way or the other. There are a few things that I have a strong opinion on. Guns and gun control are not those things. I have no idea where I stand on either one of those. I know that when I see a police officer with a gun holstered to his hip, I feel safer but at the same time fearful that he or she should ever have to use it. When I see photos of soldiers at war with guns up and firing, I wish like hell I could pull them out of there and back to a world that doesn't need guns. I have friends who are gun aficionados and go to the range and shoot for fun. My sister has even gone and came home proudly with her torn-to-bits target. Anyways, I am scared at the direction that we are going in. The stats being released on how many gun-related deaths there are in our country related to the rest of the world are scary as shit.
What scares me the most is that this can happen anywhere. The Aurora tragedy happened at a movie theater, not far from where one of my oldest and dearest friends lives. That same friend is now a high school math teacher and her mother an AD at a local high school here. My mind flew to her on Friday. Also, my mother is an elementary school teacher and the thought of her school being under attack scares me so much and makes me so angry that I write this with shaking hands and teary eyes. When I finally saw her that night after work, I gave her a long and tight hug and swore that if something like this ever happened to her, I would hunt the coward down and kill him myself. I know I wouldn't; that's what the justice system is for. My mind flew to my sister, a student at a community college; to my friend at law school across the country; to my high school; to my college. My mind flew to my cousin's daughter, who is only 10 months old and still in the safety of mommy's arms most of the time. I can't imagine being one of those parents and rushing to see if my child survived. I can't imagine what was going through my cousin's mind that day or any of the young mothers I know who have yet to send their kids off to school. Or even the moms and dads who have young kids in school. I try to remain optimistic about life at all times, but sometimes the walls close in and you just go "why is this happening??!!"
It's going to take a long time for everyone to heal from this. But those little angels will be watching over us. Especially their families. We can't forget them.
RIP Sandy Hook
Lots on my mind
There is too much on my mind. As in, if I don't get it all out, it's going to either consume me or make my head explode. Numbering commences...now:
1. Tragedy in Connecticut ( I am seriously on the brink of tears any time I read anything about it)
2. Mom's uncle passing away after a long and full life
3. Applied to grad school. Got into grad school. Chose first 4 grad school classes. Now have first grad school textbook in hand (HOLY SH*T)
4. Work. Oooh good lordy, work.
5. Attached to #1 - parents buying their children phones at younger ages to feel safer all around (not surprised and fully expected)
6. THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE, THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE
7. Life in general
I think that the best way to go about this is to write it out post by post. But I'll start it in the morning. I'm tired and it's all on paper. Well, sort of. But you know what I mean.
1. Tragedy in Connecticut ( I am seriously on the brink of tears any time I read anything about it)
2. Mom's uncle passing away after a long and full life
3. Applied to grad school. Got into grad school. Chose first 4 grad school classes. Now have first grad school textbook in hand (HOLY SH*T)
4. Work. Oooh good lordy, work.
5. Attached to #1 - parents buying their children phones at younger ages to feel safer all around (not surprised and fully expected)
6. THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE, THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE
7. Life in general
I think that the best way to go about this is to write it out post by post. But I'll start it in the morning. I'm tired and it's all on paper. Well, sort of. But you know what I mean.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
A Heavy Heart
Today was a heavy heart day. Today, I went to the funeral of a very dear friend of my parents and another of my group of "second parents." Pat was the wife of a man, Frank, who is forever laughing and smiling and was the mother of a girl my sister's age, Christina, who has carried herself with such maturity and grace through this sad time that I look up to her now. Pat was an angel on Earth and now she's our angel up above. There was not a dry eye at the service, especially mine.
I'm no good at funerals. We all know this. I was a sobbing mess. And I clung to my mom's hand as if I were a child again. I sure felt like it. On a happy day, I hug my mom and least 6 times, probably more. If my dad will let me, I go in for a few. It's how I am. I'm a hugger. And hugs were given out generously today. We all comforted each other. It was a gathering of my second family, of Pat, Frank and Christina's second family. It's the my favorite thing about my church community. We are a family. We celebrate together and we grieve together. No one will grieve more for Pat than her husband and daughter, but as our pastor said today at the service, they are not alone and we surround them.
They used to live just a few doors down from us and I babysat Christina once or twice when she was little. This was back in the "good old days" when Halloween would roll around and we would all gather at someone's house for a pot luck and make a "candy jackpot" (everyone would bring their candy bowls, so our house would have EIGHT candy bowls to grab from). My dad and Frank were both "Frankie B" and are hilarious together. They were and are an amazing little family. I was sad when they moved away, even though we still saw them at church all the time.
A few weeks ago, a group of us said goodbye to Pat on the phone. She passed away due to cancer (that sickening, chill-inducing disease) and spent her last days in the hospital. We gathered in a room at church after mass and sang a few songs to her via speakerphone. Not a dry eye in the room then either. Also, a ton of love. The kind of love that you can feel emanating off of people. The kind of love that people hear about and that you wish you knew. I know it and I know I'm blessed.
.................
I had to go straight to work after the service. I knew I would be in a funk, but we were so busy when I got there that I just stayed in my funk and seemed distracted and, according to several coworkers, was "way too quiet" to be me. I started to talk about my morning to explain, but as soon as I opened my mouth to speak, my throat closed up and tears threatened. I just offered a small smile and said I was fine. Went back to work and found a smile later on in the evening when a coworker cracked a joke. I know that Pat would want us all to smile. Christina said in her eulogy that her mother would not want us to be sad. Pat was always happy and smiling and gracious and kind. I'll strive to be more like her.
RIP beautiful friend. You will be missed and never forgotten.
I'm no good at funerals. We all know this. I was a sobbing mess. And I clung to my mom's hand as if I were a child again. I sure felt like it. On a happy day, I hug my mom and least 6 times, probably more. If my dad will let me, I go in for a few. It's how I am. I'm a hugger. And hugs were given out generously today. We all comforted each other. It was a gathering of my second family, of Pat, Frank and Christina's second family. It's the my favorite thing about my church community. We are a family. We celebrate together and we grieve together. No one will grieve more for Pat than her husband and daughter, but as our pastor said today at the service, they are not alone and we surround them.
They used to live just a few doors down from us and I babysat Christina once or twice when she was little. This was back in the "good old days" when Halloween would roll around and we would all gather at someone's house for a pot luck and make a "candy jackpot" (everyone would bring their candy bowls, so our house would have EIGHT candy bowls to grab from). My dad and Frank were both "Frankie B" and are hilarious together. They were and are an amazing little family. I was sad when they moved away, even though we still saw them at church all the time.
A few weeks ago, a group of us said goodbye to Pat on the phone. She passed away due to cancer (that sickening, chill-inducing disease) and spent her last days in the hospital. We gathered in a room at church after mass and sang a few songs to her via speakerphone. Not a dry eye in the room then either. Also, a ton of love. The kind of love that you can feel emanating off of people. The kind of love that people hear about and that you wish you knew. I know it and I know I'm blessed.
.................
I had to go straight to work after the service. I knew I would be in a funk, but we were so busy when I got there that I just stayed in my funk and seemed distracted and, according to several coworkers, was "way too quiet" to be me. I started to talk about my morning to explain, but as soon as I opened my mouth to speak, my throat closed up and tears threatened. I just offered a small smile and said I was fine. Went back to work and found a smile later on in the evening when a coworker cracked a joke. I know that Pat would want us all to smile. Christina said in her eulogy that her mother would not want us to be sad. Pat was always happy and smiling and gracious and kind. I'll strive to be more like her.
RIP beautiful friend. You will be missed and never forgotten.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Almerinda Teresa Ferrara Bifulco, my grandmother
Almerinda Teresa Ferarra Bifulco
August 11, 1927 - March 29, 2012
On my drive to work the other morning, the realization that I had not mentioned the passing of my grandmother in my previous post smacked me in the face. Hard. I got that guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach and started to tear up. My grandmother, father of my mother, passed away after declining health just after midnight on March 29, 2012. My parents and aunt had just left after saying goodbye and I'd like to believe that she died after knowing she had really said goodbye. She's joined again with my grandfather after being apart for 16 years.
I wasn't really that close with her. I always felt that, even though he passed when I was only 8, I had a closer bond with my grandfather. My family moved out to California when I was 6 and I only saw her when we visited New York or she came out here (once, for a month between Thanksgiving and Christmas). My dad would call every Sunday and holiday to chat and my sister and I would get on the phone for a bit to say hello and update. Unfortunately, she was hard of hearing and had a tendency to talk over you without letting you get a word in edgewise. Don't get me wrong, I loved her dearly. I just wasn't close with her. Which may be why I felt so much sadness and guilt when she did pass. She had been saying she wanted to leave this world for a long time and at the end, I knew she was right to wish it. She was lonely.
When it came to flying out there and saying our last goodbyes, it all felt surreal. At the funeral home, we saw family we hadn't seen in years or hadn't even met (my family is big - it's what Italians do. Meeting family members when you're 23 is normal). I was relieved when friends started showing up and I didn't have to do the awkward sympathy song-and-dance with relatives I barely knew. When a family friend, whom my sister and I call "uncle", walked in to the funeral chapel, I literally felt a weight lift off my shoulders. It was so good to see a familiar face.
The day of the funeral was one that I had to brace myself for. We were burying my grandmother next to my grandfather and I didn't know how I would take it. I also knew I would be around funeral flowers, namely stargazer lilies and well, I just don't handle those well at all. It goes back to my grandfather's funeral when I was 7. Any whiff of that overpowering scent and BAM! Flashback to the funeral home and the funeral and how cold and gone he looked. I hate that smell. Take note. I. Hate. It.
I voiced my concern over the flowers to my mom, and noted that I had been OK the day of the wake. She said just take as much time as I need. Well, the moment I walked into the chapel and caught a whiff of the flowers, I was straight up bawling. Not just teary eyed. Bawling my eyes out and taking big gul[ps of air to calm me down. It was the reality that both of my grandparents were gone, I was never going to kiss her or hug her again. Never going to talk about the Yankees with her again (the one shared love amongst me, my sister, my dad and his mother). Never, ever, ever again. The realization that my dad now had lost both of his parents. The realization that I have to do this twice more with my mother's parents (and I'm much closer with them). I was a mess.
After that, I was ok. The funeral was nice, although the priest kept using her full name, which she didn't go by. The burial plot was nicely set up and thankfully we left before they lowered her down. It was hard to see my grandfather's tombstone but my tears were dried for the day. We had a family only reception at a local hotel, which meant 40 people crammed into a conference room. My family had spent the few days prior scanning all sorts of photos, old and new, and had put them on a looping slideshow. We shared funny stories about her and smiled at the memories. Then we all left and went our separate ways.
The most surreal part of the whole weekend was being in her house, my grandparent's house, without either of them there. I slept in my dad's old bedroom, where I've stayed before. We cleaned up a bunch and my parents stayed a few extra days and really cleaned it out. They've gone back since and completely cleaned it up and we're now renting out the upstairs portion. The house my dad grew up in and the house my grandfather added to and remodeled several times is now being inhabited by strangers. The same goes for my mother's childhood home, since her parents did what most elderly New Yorkers do - moved to Florida.
Death is part of growing up. It sucks but it's a cold, hard fact. I only wish it were easier. But we always have the memories.
Popi Toni, 3 year old me and Nani Alma
Antonio and Alma on their wedding day in 1953
Nani, me, my sister (such an adorable child) and Popi.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Looky what I found
From January 2, 2012
"1. Take more spontaneous risks - in the workplace and in life.
2. Get out more and meet more new people (as if I don't know enough people already).
3. Be more attentive to what others are saying - my dad says I need to work on this and I agree...just don't tell him that.
4. Get in shape and get healthy. I'm on that road already and I know living at home will only aid, not harm, this one.
5. Be happy."
I have NEVER been one to make new year's resolutions. But for some reason, for 2012, I did. Maybe it has something to do with the (totally wrong) prediction that the world is ending at the end of this year. Maybe it was because of my state of mind at the time (I was moving back in with my parents). Who knows. But looking at these, I smile. I've done all of these to a certain degree.
1. Work-wise, I took a risk. I'm in a completely new job field, one that I never thought I would be in (or rather back in. Confusing I know. It's sales but completely different from restaurant sales), but so right for me at the same time. Life-wise, still working on it. I've taken a few, but to the average person, it's kid stuff. I have a particular risk in mind to take but ooh it's going to take some serious guts on my part.
2. I'm happy to say that I've met quite a nice assortment of people, only adding to the amount of people I know. So much so that even new friends go "oh my god, you know EVERYONE."
3. I am more attentive, even to my dad! (shhh). And weirdly enough, more attentive to what I'm saying to myself. Whoda thunkit?
4. Struggling as of late with this one, but I'm getting my butt back in gear as soon as my new hire training for the job is done (AKA the end of this week)
5. I am happy. My life may not be exactly where I wanted it to be at this point in my life, but I'm happy with what I have. And that's all that matters.
Oh look at that, two posts in one night. Boom, on a roll again. Bucket list next.
I need to get back to this...
Well hello there, beautiful blank white paper (ok blank computer screen). It's been a while. I've had a lot to tell you but haven't had the time (or brain capacity) to put it into words. It's been a very eventful last 6 months, to say the least.
My last post was a movie review. Something of "fluff" to keep my writing juices going. Obviously, it worked (ooh I am on a sarcastic roll right now). That last post was February 20. It is now August 21. Whoops. In that time, I have procured a job, left a job and started a new job. Whew! This time, I am praying, hoping, wishing and working my ass off to make sure it sticks and lasts, because I want it to. I am now with an AMAZING company, where the opportunity for personal and professional growth is endless. Plus, my parents are "thrilled" (mommy's words, not mine). I am too. I'm nervous as hell, but that's to be expected, right?
I am facing the facts of my life with a bit more realism now than I was back in February. I am 23 (close to 24), living at home, still getting my financial footing and still figuring out what the hell I really want in life. Hopefully, my professional life is now on track. It'll take time to get to be where I want to be with this company (I'm aiming at a 5-6 year goal for that). Personally, I'm almost 24. At that age, my dad was married to my mom, had bought a house and had me. How's that for freaky? On the other hand, my mom is 4 years older than my dad, so if I'm going to track my life to a parent's, it'll be hers. Still, that's scary to think how fast time can fly and realize 'oh my god, I'll be approaching 30 in just a few years'.
And yes, yes, I know, I'm being dramatic. It's what I do. I over-think things. I analyze situations and people and people's reactions to situations til they're 10x bigger in my head. Luckily, I'm able to keep it all IN my head, save for a few things that get out to a few close friends and my wonderful mother.
This is another fluff post, maybe with a touch of gravity. I just need to start writing again. I was asking a new friend who had just re-located to California from the East Coast if she had a California/West Coast bucket list and realized that even though I've lived here nearly my entire life, I should make one. SO that's what I'm working on next. A bucket list. And maybe I'll share my adventures from that bucket list. Couldn't hurt right?
Ok, per usual, I'm rambling. I do this verbally, in person and apparently on paper.
Monday, February 20, 2012
The Descendants
For me, I feel like he played completely against type, dad-pants and all. He was a father, a husband, a real human being that you could relate to. The same went for all the characters. I'm not sure if it's the laid back dress of Hawaiians or the fact that the makeup crew did minimal makeup for everyone, but it felt like a story that you would hear at a friend's backyard bbq (they even had one in the movie). From the cheating wife who wanted a thrill out of life and it cost her in the end, to the messed up older daughter (played absolutely brilliantly by someone who I never would have thought could pull it off) to the friends who were torn about whose side to take in everything. It was all so real.
It was also incredibly sad. No one wants to hear stories like this, about an inevitable, could-have-been-prevented tragedy. No one wants to watch a family get pulled apart at the seams. But it was just so good. I think it deserves every bit of acclaim it's gotten. Also, I love that the Hawaiian history aspect of the film. We forget that Hawa'ii was a wonderful, perfectly capable nation before the American missionaries swept in (much like we did for many other places). I have a book on the last Hawaiian princess and to read how we went in and took their country from them breaks my heart. It's a beautiful world and the decision that Clooney's character made in the movie is one that I hope someone in the same position would make in reality.
So there's my mish-mosh opinion of it. I loved every last character, good and bad. Go see it. You'll be glad you did.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The Venetian Mask
The Venetian Mask by Rosalind Laker is a story about two friends who grew up as orphans in the Ospedale della Pieta, the famous orphanage in Venice. It follows them from the age of 12 and onwards 30 years, through growing up and maestra success (they were both accomplished singers in the Pieta's choir, one of the best ever [from what I've heard]), to their new families feud that had lasted hundreds of years. It takes you to a world where deception and personal vendetta's were the complete norm and money and familial power were more powerful in some ways than the government.
I love old Italy. I really do. Of course old Italy isn't really Italy because the country wasn't unified until in this last century. Venice was especially mysterious. The name of the book says it all. The Venetian masks are world famous and although most people associate them with Carnevale, the celebration of the time period before Lent begins in the early spring, the masks were used in everyday life in Venice. Either going about town with simple bauta masks (plain white masks normally, some with some embellishments) or going to parties and the opera in fancy, hand crafted and very expensive masks, Venetians were able to hide behind their masks.
I wonder what it would have been like to really live in those times. Books tell us specific stories about fictional or true characters. Most of the books I read combine real events with fictional embellishments. Those are the ones I love the most.
So here's to another book that I will read over and over.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Everything Happens For A Reason
Everything happens for a reason, everything happens for a reason, everything happens for a reason..this is the mantra/saying/prayer that I have been repeating over and over in my head since December 23, 2011. The day when I found out that I was not getting hired by the agency I had been interning with since the end of September. To be honest, I was really upset about it but a little part of me saw it coming. I can honestly say that I did the best I could with what I was given and unfortunately, it didn't turn into a full time job. But now, 11 days later, I am ok with it. I have looked back on it and realized that they were right; it was not a fit. I learned a lot, as I have in all of my internships and jobs and any other working opportunities that I have had.
So I am back on the job hunt, again. But this time it's different. I have a year of experience behind me. My resume looks good and my skills have been improved a lot. After not "being a fit" at three agencies this year though, I have decided to refocus my job search and look into corporate positions and event planning positions. I've always loved event planning and have wanted to do it since the beginning of my college career. Now is my chance.
This is also my chance to make a move, literally. I'm bittersweet about saying that I'm moving back down to Southern California. I will be living with my parents until I get back on my feet with a solid job and save enough money to afford to live down there, wherever that may be. I missed home and being home for the Christmas holiday re-affirmed my decision. I had been contemplating moving back since my second internship ended. I love all my friends that I have made up here and my roommate, who has been more than amazing to me in the last few months (I was a major stress-ball...just ask my personal trainer. Even she said I was too stressed). I will be back down in SoCal by the end of January, ready to start the next chapter of my life.
I've been here for 3 years. In those three years, I have come more into myself that I ever thought I could. I've learned about myself and about working with people and I will carry these learnings and lessons with me throughout the rest of my life.
Everything happens for a reason. There is a reason I didn't end up at Gonzaga - this was so I would find myself at San Jose State. There is a reason why each of my internships did not work out - I was still learning. There is a reason for this last one not to work out - this was so I would have the freedom of decision to move back to my hometown. I still don't know what will come out of my move back down the state of California, but I'm sure that it will show itself soon, hopefully sooner rather than later.
And now for some resolutions because, well, it's 2012!
1. Take more spontaneous risks - in the workplace and in life.
2. Get out more and meet more new people (as if I don't know enough people already).
3. Be more attentive to what others are saying - my dad says I need to work on this and I agree...just don't tell him that.
4. Get in shape and get healthy. I'm on that road already and I know living at home will only aid, not harm, this one.
5. Be happy.
Here's to 2012 and may all of you out there have the best year yet.
So I am back on the job hunt, again. But this time it's different. I have a year of experience behind me. My resume looks good and my skills have been improved a lot. After not "being a fit" at three agencies this year though, I have decided to refocus my job search and look into corporate positions and event planning positions. I've always loved event planning and have wanted to do it since the beginning of my college career. Now is my chance.
This is also my chance to make a move, literally. I'm bittersweet about saying that I'm moving back down to Southern California. I will be living with my parents until I get back on my feet with a solid job and save enough money to afford to live down there, wherever that may be. I missed home and being home for the Christmas holiday re-affirmed my decision. I had been contemplating moving back since my second internship ended. I love all my friends that I have made up here and my roommate, who has been more than amazing to me in the last few months (I was a major stress-ball...just ask my personal trainer. Even she said I was too stressed). I will be back down in SoCal by the end of January, ready to start the next chapter of my life.
I've been here for 3 years. In those three years, I have come more into myself that I ever thought I could. I've learned about myself and about working with people and I will carry these learnings and lessons with me throughout the rest of my life.
Everything happens for a reason. There is a reason I didn't end up at Gonzaga - this was so I would find myself at San Jose State. There is a reason why each of my internships did not work out - I was still learning. There is a reason for this last one not to work out - this was so I would have the freedom of decision to move back to my hometown. I still don't know what will come out of my move back down the state of California, but I'm sure that it will show itself soon, hopefully sooner rather than later.
And now for some resolutions because, well, it's 2012!
1. Take more spontaneous risks - in the workplace and in life.
2. Get out more and meet more new people (as if I don't know enough people already).
3. Be more attentive to what others are saying - my dad says I need to work on this and I agree...just don't tell him that.
4. Get in shape and get healthy. I'm on that road already and I know living at home will only aid, not harm, this one.
5. Be happy.
Here's to 2012 and may all of you out there have the best year yet.
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