That's what I am. I'm a planner. Always have been. It's like my security blanket. From day one I have always wanted to know what I was doing, where I was going. That's why I had my whole year planned (for the most part) by January 1 of this year. School January through May, Italy May through August, a week in NY at the end of August and back to school from very end of August through December. On December 17, my planning becomes fuzzy. I don't know what I'll do after that. Well besides go home for the holidays. January 1 of 2011 is blank. And it's making me nervous. Friends say that I need to loosen up and not plan so much. Fat chance. I have a running to-do list (its even "to do" stationary, compliments of my cousin's bridal shower) with varied highlighting. And one of the items on that list is to make ANOTHER list. Yes, I know... a little strange. But it's what I do. I'm lost without it. I can do without it for a little bit but then my brain becomes too crowded. It's easier to have it on paper so I don't have to have it constantly running through my mind.
But I digress. Nothing planned after December 17, besides the holidays. Hell, I don't even know where I'll be working in the fall. The goal is to work at a winery (I have a specific one in mind) but the type of job I find/can work with all depends on my class schedule, which I won't know until mid April (hopefully). Even not knowing that makes me anxious. I know it shouldn't and that I should be focusing on the here and now...but I just can't. I LIKE to make plans. But they're not like itinerary-like plans where I plan out each day. It's an outline or "guideline" as the pirate's code goes. I live by a guideline. And I like it. For instance, I have NO idea what I'm going to do while home on break, but I know I'm going home. And I have some school work to get done. And I want to go to some high school and tee ball baseball games (biiiiig difference but both enjoyable). And most importantly, I want to spend time with my family. The idea of being away all summer is bittersweet. It's my last summer as a student so I know that living it up ( as they call it) is a must but at the same time, I am spending very little time with my family. Who knows, it might be the best summer of my life. I hope so...well up until this point anyways. I want each year to be the "best year ever"...don't we all?
Ok I've reached the rambling point again. It's 1:15 in the morning and I have a midterm at 10:30. Eek. Such is the life of a college student. See, I can't even wrap my mind around the concept of having a day job and ONLY a day job. Sounds nice and relaxing. None of this school all day, work at night THEN homework and studying. And sleep in there somewhere. Ahh sounds nice. That's what I have planned next year. A day job and hopefully only a day job. Ok good night all.
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