This week

This week has been a rough one for me. Although it could have been worse. And it's my own fault. I got into a minor accident that has left me temporarily without a car and that alone stresses me. I have always been an independent being and from the time I got my license and my first car, I have run all of my own errands and gotten myself places. Relying on my roommate and friends, even though they say it's no problem, makes me feel like I'm a burden. To this my mom says to forget it and remember all the times when I have driven friends places and done favors without expecting a return. So now I wait so I can bring my car in to get fixed and I pray that I don't have to wait too long for it to be returned to me.

On top of this, my mom is having a routine procedure on Monday. And I say routine because it really is a common procedure now. However, I still worry. And maybe it's because I just spent a few weeks at home and got used to having my family, especially my mom around, that it's so hard to imagine myself not there for when she goes into recovery. I know she will be fine, but the worrier (and I am) in me takes over. I just wish I was home or that home were closer to where I live now so it would be easier to see them.

Now I don't usually cry over movies or songs, but one song caught me so off-guard when I first heard it that I cried. And I still do, even when I know I'm about to click on it to listen to it. That song is Taylor Swift's "Best Day". That song is a near-perfect representation of my relationship with my mom. She is truly my best friend and I confide in her for pretty much everything. I was on the train yesterday going to a meeting and it came up and without even knowing it, I started to tear up. Being in such a public place, I didn't want to cry so I quickly changed it. But the words hung in my mind all day. Luckily a friend invited my roommate and I out to dinner and a movie and I didn't have time after the meeting was done and I was home to really sit down and have a good cry. I don't know why I get so emotional so easily now.

So I am going to leave you with this...another song that has truly got me thinking. It's Kris Allen's "Live Like We're Dying". It's a message that I know already but I haven't heard a song that really hits me like this. If you haven't heard it or can't exactly remember the words, look it up. Listen to the lyrics. And really listen to them.