My mom's favorite uncle, her godfather, passed away on Sunday night, December 16. He had been in ill health for a long time and it was expected. I guess we just didn't expect it to happen so close to the holiday. Another of my mom's uncles, from the other side of the family, passed away 2 years ago this Christmas.
I really didn't know him, but my mom and dad both loved him. He was your quintessential New Yorker, the kind of guy who put any wanna be Soprano to shame. With his accent of course, not his life practices. He was my grandma's older brother and my grandpa's best friend. Yep, my grandpa married his best friend's kid sister.
The sobering thought of all of this is that the elderly family members of mine are passing on. My grandma is the only one left out of her siblings. My grandpa only has his sister. Both of my dad's parents are gone and the majority of their siblings have passed on as well. I am not ready for this. I am not ready for my grandparents to be gone from this earth. I haven't spent enough time with them.
But even as I say that, I think back to the kids (yes, I know, different post). Their lives ended at 6 and 7 years of age and Uncle Mikey's ended at nearly 90. The fact that he left this world shortly after they did makes he hope that he is one of the countless adults up here in heaven who will guide them in guiding us.
Oh my head and my emotions are all over the map.
RIP Uncle Mikey. You were one hell of a guy and you will be sorely missed.
(and just like that, I lied about not writing tonight)
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Friday, December 14
The first bit of news that I read from this tragedy was that a single teacher had been injured. Of course, we all know this is not the case. We know that this story came out to the public in bits and pieces, some of which were retracted and spit out semi-correctly again. I watched it unfold on my phone at work. Everyone was talking about it. I did not handle it well. I knew I was walking around with a cloud above my head. A coworker even commented that I "looked sad all day." I was sad. And scared. And confused and angry.
20 innocent little lives were taken from this world that day. 6 courageous adult lives were also taken, some of which were about to begin new life journeys. We don't know why it happened and we probably never will. The cowardly bastard took his life as first responders entered the school. The scary thought is that he could have wreaked so much more damage. My heart aches for the families and friends of the victims. Especially their classmates. They will forever be known as the kids who survived the massacre. Same as those at Columbine.
I try not to be political, mainly because I don't pay enough attention to it to make an educated argument one way or the other. There are a few things that I have a strong opinion on. Guns and gun control are not those things. I have no idea where I stand on either one of those. I know that when I see a police officer with a gun holstered to his hip, I feel safer but at the same time fearful that he or she should ever have to use it. When I see photos of soldiers at war with guns up and firing, I wish like hell I could pull them out of there and back to a world that doesn't need guns. I have friends who are gun aficionados and go to the range and shoot for fun. My sister has even gone and came home proudly with her torn-to-bits target. Anyways, I am scared at the direction that we are going in. The stats being released on how many gun-related deaths there are in our country related to the rest of the world are scary as shit.
What scares me the most is that this can happen anywhere. The Aurora tragedy happened at a movie theater, not far from where one of my oldest and dearest friends lives. That same friend is now a high school math teacher and her mother an AD at a local high school here. My mind flew to her on Friday. Also, my mother is an elementary school teacher and the thought of her school being under attack scares me so much and makes me so angry that I write this with shaking hands and teary eyes. When I finally saw her that night after work, I gave her a long and tight hug and swore that if something like this ever happened to her, I would hunt the coward down and kill him myself. I know I wouldn't; that's what the justice system is for. My mind flew to my sister, a student at a community college; to my friend at law school across the country; to my high school; to my college. My mind flew to my cousin's daughter, who is only 10 months old and still in the safety of mommy's arms most of the time. I can't imagine being one of those parents and rushing to see if my child survived. I can't imagine what was going through my cousin's mind that day or any of the young mothers I know who have yet to send their kids off to school. Or even the moms and dads who have young kids in school. I try to remain optimistic about life at all times, but sometimes the walls close in and you just go "why is this happening??!!"
It's going to take a long time for everyone to heal from this. But those little angels will be watching over us. Especially their families. We can't forget them.
RIP Sandy Hook
20 innocent little lives were taken from this world that day. 6 courageous adult lives were also taken, some of which were about to begin new life journeys. We don't know why it happened and we probably never will. The cowardly bastard took his life as first responders entered the school. The scary thought is that he could have wreaked so much more damage. My heart aches for the families and friends of the victims. Especially their classmates. They will forever be known as the kids who survived the massacre. Same as those at Columbine.
I try not to be political, mainly because I don't pay enough attention to it to make an educated argument one way or the other. There are a few things that I have a strong opinion on. Guns and gun control are not those things. I have no idea where I stand on either one of those. I know that when I see a police officer with a gun holstered to his hip, I feel safer but at the same time fearful that he or she should ever have to use it. When I see photos of soldiers at war with guns up and firing, I wish like hell I could pull them out of there and back to a world that doesn't need guns. I have friends who are gun aficionados and go to the range and shoot for fun. My sister has even gone and came home proudly with her torn-to-bits target. Anyways, I am scared at the direction that we are going in. The stats being released on how many gun-related deaths there are in our country related to the rest of the world are scary as shit.
What scares me the most is that this can happen anywhere. The Aurora tragedy happened at a movie theater, not far from where one of my oldest and dearest friends lives. That same friend is now a high school math teacher and her mother an AD at a local high school here. My mind flew to her on Friday. Also, my mother is an elementary school teacher and the thought of her school being under attack scares me so much and makes me so angry that I write this with shaking hands and teary eyes. When I finally saw her that night after work, I gave her a long and tight hug and swore that if something like this ever happened to her, I would hunt the coward down and kill him myself. I know I wouldn't; that's what the justice system is for. My mind flew to my sister, a student at a community college; to my friend at law school across the country; to my high school; to my college. My mind flew to my cousin's daughter, who is only 10 months old and still in the safety of mommy's arms most of the time. I can't imagine being one of those parents and rushing to see if my child survived. I can't imagine what was going through my cousin's mind that day or any of the young mothers I know who have yet to send their kids off to school. Or even the moms and dads who have young kids in school. I try to remain optimistic about life at all times, but sometimes the walls close in and you just go "why is this happening??!!"
It's going to take a long time for everyone to heal from this. But those little angels will be watching over us. Especially their families. We can't forget them.
RIP Sandy Hook
Lots on my mind
There is too much on my mind. As in, if I don't get it all out, it's going to either consume me or make my head explode. Numbering commences...now:
1. Tragedy in Connecticut ( I am seriously on the brink of tears any time I read anything about it)
2. Mom's uncle passing away after a long and full life
3. Applied to grad school. Got into grad school. Chose first 4 grad school classes. Now have first grad school textbook in hand (HOLY SH*T)
4. Work. Oooh good lordy, work.
5. Attached to #1 - parents buying their children phones at younger ages to feel safer all around (not surprised and fully expected)
6. THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE, THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE
7. Life in general
I think that the best way to go about this is to write it out post by post. But I'll start it in the morning. I'm tired and it's all on paper. Well, sort of. But you know what I mean.
1. Tragedy in Connecticut ( I am seriously on the brink of tears any time I read anything about it)
2. Mom's uncle passing away after a long and full life
3. Applied to grad school. Got into grad school. Chose first 4 grad school classes. Now have first grad school textbook in hand (HOLY SH*T)
4. Work. Oooh good lordy, work.
5. Attached to #1 - parents buying their children phones at younger ages to feel safer all around (not surprised and fully expected)
6. THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE, THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE
7. Life in general
I think that the best way to go about this is to write it out post by post. But I'll start it in the morning. I'm tired and it's all on paper. Well, sort of. But you know what I mean.
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