technology + me = success?

So something amusing has happened. At least it's amusing to me. Besides working on this blog, I have been helping with the upkeep of my student organization's conference website. It's a simple webs.com blog but still the thought of ME being the forerunner on something to do with technology is a little silly to me. I even taught my friend how to do something on it and he's the techno expert on most things. In fact, in the year that we have been friends, I have learned how to do about 50% of the things I do on my macbook. And I love it. I like knowing what I'm doing and I like getting creative with the website...which you can check out if you go to my facebook page and click on the link.

Now this new subject occurred a long time ago, but I have become one of "those" people who you rarely see without her laptop. All I'm missing is a smartphone, which sad to say is almost a necessity for me at this point. I still have a simple messaging phone, and although it has been very loyal and worked well for me the last few years, just isn't cutting it anymore. It's a dilemma for me. I want a new phone but don't exactly have the money for it. But I also want a new laptop (mine is coming up on 4 years old) and the new Creative Suite from Adobe (omgosh it's amazing). My goal is to have all 3 of these items in my possession at latest December, which is when I graduate and my student discount on said laptop and CS program disappear. So that's the goal. Besides having a fabulous year.

Ok those are my thoughts for right now. Ciao!

Brain Emptying at its finest

So my original thought for this blog was to be a place where I would post maybe once a week and be done with it until my summer took off. Now I feel like it's a place to empty my brain and get my thoughts out without saying it out loud.

Stress has quickly become an unwelcome constant in my life. At least from now until the weekend of March 18. I usually can remain calm and generally avoid stress while still getting a lot done. But this is too much for me already. Between my student organization's activity we are hosting in March to the slew of reading I have for classes to my frustration with my waitressing job, it's just a little much right now. I know that it will pass and I will get through it but jeez. I've said this before and I'll say it again. I really think that life after college will almost be easier to manage. We'll go from taking a full load of classes, juggling and internship and a job to just one job (hopefully).

On a positive note, my friends and I had a "family" dinner last night. We were at my friend's house and had dinner with his dad and brother and there were a total of 9 of us at the table with a HUGE bowl of pasta and an equally huge bowl of salad in the middle of the table. At one point, it was silent except for eating sounds...that's when you know the meal was good. And it was a home-cooked meal with my amazing friends. I loved it, but then I got an overwhelming feeling of homesickness and even teared up for a few seconds.

So that is my brain emptying for the day. Sorry if I sounded a little bit whiny but it's going to be one of those days. =).

A week of highs and lows

The first week of school is always an interesting one. With some classes, you know what to expect, either by knowing the teacher and their writing style or hearing from fellow classmates who have already had that class. Others, you have no idea what to expect and are going in blind. This semester, I have a decent mix of the two. I have a lot of research and writing to do this semester on top of my extracurricular activities. Some of this I expected and some I was thrown for a loop. But luckily I am able to take a bit of a break and concentrate just on school and work, instead of also throwing an internship into the mix. I was up for an internship with a great company but unfortunately my class schedule and schedule for the rest of the year didn't go with their needs. So here I am for the first time in a while, only working ONE job and having a full load of classes. We'll see if I get bored at some point. My goal is to get straight A's because I have the time to concentrate on classes.

So the highs with school were reconnecting with friends that I haven't seen since before winter break started and getting excited about some classes I am taking that I've always wanted to take (human sexuality for all you curious people) and the lows were realizing that I am taking some classes that may very well kick my butt (one class requires 8 5-6 page papers along with a group presentation, 2 solo presentations and 2 short presentations; another requires a 20 page research paper at the end of the semester). Also,the stress of an upcoming event that my student organization is planning and hosting is starting to really set in and take its toll. Like I said, it's going to be a long, interesting but fun semester.

On the home front, the highs were welcoming a new roommate that is fantastic already. She decorated our shared bathroom in a way that I have only dreamed of doing. I know that's a funny thing to point out but for me it's a big deal. I do miss my old roommate but life happens and people move around. So yay for a new roommate who seems like she is going to be fun! The lows of the week is realizing that this is the worse off I have been financially...ever. When I first started working, it was for pocket money and to have something to do after school and to learn about responsibility and get a little better at my work ethic. And I truly liked working because it was something new and I was doing something I had never done before.

Now it is to support myself because I have bills to pay and things to buy (necessities and once in a great while now something fun). I am a waitress and like most restaurants this past year, mine is still recovering and I am not working nearly enough or good enough shifts to get a good amount of money. It's really kind of scary. But I am, and always have been, pretty independent and believe that I can do it on my own...with a little help now and then. I have my parents to thank for that mindset and for the help now and then.

I said in a previous post that this was going to be a great year and I still believe that. However, it is going to be great in a different way than I originally thought. I am going to grown and learn a ton this year. And I am really looking forward to it.

It's a funny thing...

...how a place that at one time seemed so foreign and daunting now feels more like home than anything else. And no I'm not talking the house I live in. I'm talking about the student lounge in my department's building. Anyone who is reading this and knows what I'm talking about will agree. My first semester here, I didn't know it existed. Well, I knew it was here but I never went in it and thought it was a place for others. Then I discovered it last semester and would spend my breaks in there. Now if I'm not in class, I'm in the lounge, chatting with anyone who is in there, working on homework or just relaxing before my next class or meeting. Friends and I have even joked about getting bunk beds or a pull out couch in there because all of us spend so much time in there and there's really not any place comfortable to lay down and take a quick nap.

Anyways, I digress. This time last year was the first time I stepped into this building and felt unsure if I would fit in. This semester, my 3rd here, I walked in and nearly hugged the wall because I've been away from it for 5 weeks. It just feels like home. Even when I go to a class in a different building and come back here for my next class, this is the building that just feels familiar. The faces and everyone there just feels comfortable. It's a good feeling.

School Time!

Today I am officially a "senior" in college. For me, my senior year will be just that...one year. Two semesters but instead of a winter break in between, it will be a summer. I have it worked out that if I take 5 classes this semester (which I am, after a lot of last minute juggling) and do my study abroad over the summer (which I am) I only have 4 classes to take come Fall semester and then I will be DONE. Thank goodness.

Last night I lay in bed contemplating this coming semester. It's going to be one of a lot of challenges, both personal and professional. I thought about how even though I am 21 years old now, I still get excited for the "first" day of school. I couldn't fall asleep last night because I was so excited. But it was a different excitement from when I was a kid. This was excitement at getting my school routine back on track and seeing old friends and meeting new ones. It's a craving for stability. This is the last year of that school stability. After December, I don't have that anymore and will have to find a job "stability" to have a routine with. But for now I can just enjoy this.

I also thought this morning that in May I will have been out of community college for 2 years. And in June out of high school for 4. It's a strange thing to think about seeing as high school graduation seems like a lifetime ago and community college a shorter lifetime ago. So much has happened since I was in those places and I barely remember how life was then. I can't imagine my life different from how it is now. Even living on my own was such an easy transition for me, even though I do get very homesick now and then, especially now. It's only 2 p.m. but I've already talked on the phone with my mom twice today. I just wish I was closer to home so I could just pop in for a visit every so often.

So today is the first day of school....again. I have two classes; one in the afternoon and one in the evening. It's the dreaded night class but seeing as I have already done a reading assignment for it, it sounds pretty interesting. It's the Senior Capstone Seminar for my minor even though I've only taken one other class to do with my minor. And it's going to be fun. I have to add the class (this is the juggling I mentioned before) and as a result have already emailed back and forth with the professor so I know he's at least a nice guy. After today I'll have an inkling about how he is as a teacher.

So as I should be paying attention to my teacher who is going on about the syllabus (which I've already read and have heard about this whole class from friends who have taken it already) I will sign off now. More for later. I am forewarning you on some stressed out posts to come between now and May. Possibly through December. So until next time...later!

I can breathe easy again

I spoke to my mom this morning. She sounded tired and said she was in pain but I was just happy to hear her voice again. She should be there for a few days then home on bed rest for around 6 weeks. A friend of ours was there with her keeping her company since my dad and sister are at work and school. That is what I love the most about our group of friends. No matter what, someone is going to be there. And we would do the same, and have, for them. I miss that. But I have a great group of friends at school as well, so it's blessings all around. I'm trying to figure out a weekend that I can go home to see my mom in the next six weeks but not getting my hopes up. Right now the priority is to work as much as I can and start the new semester off on the right foot.

Another reason I am breathing easy again is I finally got my car to a repair shop and now have a rental car. It's amazing what a simple vehicle can do for one's sense of self and independence. I just hope my car gets back to me fast so life can go back to normal. The repair shop gave me an estimate of around a week to a week and a half but I hope that it goes as fast as possible, while still doing a good job. This experience has made me never, ever want to be in another accident again. It's much too stressful.

Also, it's been raining pretty steadily for the last 48 hours. It's stopped for now but this morning around 5 am I woke up to thunder and a flash of lightning. Most people would hate this. I'm strange and I absolutely love, love, love thunderstorms. It's almost a comfort to me. I fell right back asleep to the sound of rumbling and rain pouring down. My best friend is the exact opposite. Once, when I was visiting her, there was a thunderstorm and the next thing I know she's on the airbed with me shaking like crazy. I guess that's why we're best friends.....we're completely opposite in some ways. Ok well that's all for now. Mom's ok, car is getting better and we're getting much needed rain. Bring on the new semester.

This week

This week has been a rough one for me. Although it could have been worse. And it's my own fault. I got into a minor accident that has left me temporarily without a car and that alone stresses me. I have always been an independent being and from the time I got my license and my first car, I have run all of my own errands and gotten myself places. Relying on my roommate and friends, even though they say it's no problem, makes me feel like I'm a burden. To this my mom says to forget it and remember all the times when I have driven friends places and done favors without expecting a return. So now I wait so I can bring my car in to get fixed and I pray that I don't have to wait too long for it to be returned to me.

On top of this, my mom is having a routine procedure on Monday. And I say routine because it really is a common procedure now. However, I still worry. And maybe it's because I just spent a few weeks at home and got used to having my family, especially my mom around, that it's so hard to imagine myself not there for when she goes into recovery. I know she will be fine, but the worrier (and I am) in me takes over. I just wish I was home or that home were closer to where I live now so it would be easier to see them.

Now I don't usually cry over movies or songs, but one song caught me so off-guard when I first heard it that I cried. And I still do, even when I know I'm about to click on it to listen to it. That song is Taylor Swift's "Best Day". That song is a near-perfect representation of my relationship with my mom. She is truly my best friend and I confide in her for pretty much everything. I was on the train yesterday going to a meeting and it came up and without even knowing it, I started to tear up. Being in such a public place, I didn't want to cry so I quickly changed it. But the words hung in my mind all day. Luckily a friend invited my roommate and I out to dinner and a movie and I didn't have time after the meeting was done and I was home to really sit down and have a good cry. I don't know why I get so emotional so easily now.

So I am going to leave you with this...another song that has truly got me thinking. It's Kris Allen's "Live Like We're Dying". It's a message that I know already but I haven't heard a song that really hits me like this. If you haven't heard it or can't exactly remember the words, look it up. Listen to the lyrics. And really listen to them.